


the dark blue skies above, the deep sea below

by s-kiz (pigalle)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Heavy Angst, Self-Hatred, Suicide, lapslock, please read the tags carefully
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:09:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28215999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pigalle/pseuds/s-kiz
Summary: the dark water crashing against the bridge's pillars feels like some kind of sick metaphor for the emotions thrashing around inside minho's chest.dangerous.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	the dark blue skies above, the deep sea below

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nervecore](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nervecore/gifts).



> hollow gave me "dark blue, bridge, suffocating" knowing full well where it would take me
> 
> some songs to listen to:  
> a letter to the girl i love - cameron phillip  
> can you feel my heart - bring me the horizon  
> don't go - bring me the horizon

the dark water crashing against the bridge's pillars feels like some kind of sick metaphor for the emotions thrashing around inside minho's chest.

dangerous.

able to wreak havoc if approached the wrong way.

there's a pressure over his lungs that makes it feel as if he's suffocating. as if the dark blue water below is already flowing into them, stealing all air away.

as if the monster in his chest is already winning.

maybe minho should just join the dark blue depth. put his trust in that the fierceness of the waves will tame the monster.

bring it into obedience.

maybe then the band constricting around his heart will let up and he can feel something that isn’t  _ pain _ .

but he deserves the pain. he doesn’t deserve to complain about it. not when he’s done what he’s done, hurt the people he has.

maybe minho has always been a horrible person. maybe all this time he’s believed he knows who he is, that it doesn’t matter what people think of him, maybe all this time he’s been the asshole. the despicable person. the person everyone should hate.

maybe his ugliness is as vast as the sea, as dark and as dangerous. maybe he’s just like the waves, pulling people under to their demise if you get too close.

because that’s what he’s done.

he’s made mistake after mistake, hurting people one after the other. he can’t fault them for leaving. not when he wants to leave himself behind as well. want to reach into his chest and pull out his ugly heart, throw it on the ground and stomp over it until there is nothing left.

until it can’t hurt anyone again.

something in him is broken, and there is no one left to fix it.

no one but the deep, dark water and the dark sky above him, a vast infinity that could care less about some puny human like him.

it’s comforting.

knowing that there is something so immense, too big to judge.

the sky that will give him a last goodbye, and the water that will welcome him into its depths.

no judgement. only calmness. at last and for a final time.

his fingers are beginning to get numb where they’re gripping onto the railing with all his strength. the metal is cold under his touch, steady and unmoving.

not like the numerous people that have walked past him on the other side of the railing, none the wiser that he’s kneeling there, just waiting.

waiting for something, anything.

a sign, a call.

something.

but nothing is coming. the water keeps crashing against the bridge’s pillars, and the people keeps walking. in their own world, unaware of the relief that will come. unaware that the world will rid itself of another ugly person. one less evil.

but then the call comes, from the wrong side, someone stopping by his side.

and minho is not ready. he’s not expecting it, and his fingers slip. slides against the cold metal until he is gripping onto nothing but air and there is nothing solid still under his feet.

until he is falling. free.

it’s supposed to be over like that. the water will welcome him, and he will say goodbye.

but the waves don’t want him. there is nothing calm about the way they throw him around until he doesn’t know what is what, where the surface is and where the depth is. until he has to gasp because of the pressure and water flows into his lungs, greedy to take his life away.

it burns. in a way he didn’t think possible. a pain that makes him panic, as if he has any say in anything now that the waves have taken him.

he gasps again and the water is there, again, to take what is its own now.

he doesn’t think he deserves it, for a moment. that he hasn’t done anything that is this bad. but then the band constricts again and his heart reminds him that he’s an ugly person who has hurt everyone he loves.

that no end is too harsh for a person like him.

and it’s right.

the darkness takes him too quickly.

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/bangpeachchan)
> 
> hi :)


End file.
